L I N G U I C I D E

The fear of mispeling.

The fear of mispeling is very similar in nature to sudoriophobia which is the fear of sweating. There is a social stigma to both illness. The difference, of course, is that sudoriophobia is a real illness curable by frequent showing and the "fear of mispeling" is a figment of an overactive imagination, actually an overactive imagination in a big hurry. This fear is often misdiagnosed as illiteracy or unliterate depending on which side of the street you live on.

SYMPTOMS

The most noteworthy symptom is the addiction to spellcheckers. Frequent hording of pink erasures. Owning multiple dictionaries from different publishers. Mild seizures caused by such words as receive, liquefy, separate, ecstasy, cemetery, broccoli, or sacrilegious. Acute syptoms: compulsive proofreading without invitation.

This illness is not unlike dyslexia where sounds and shapes are commonly reversed. The classifications of misspelling errors themselves are actually external manifestations of subconscious desires. For example, to repeatedly misspell the word "received" over the duration of many years is indicative the sufferer has never "received" anything. All of the resentment bubbles to the surface in misspelling. Misspelling analysis is a new discipline and worthy of the most serious consideration.

There are new theories that misspelling is related to Melanophobia, another Cypher illness which is the fear of boredom. Essentially the "speling" suffer just wanders off between letters. To them, the space between letters is an eternity of boredom.

There are over 988 different misspellings of the word 'saucer'. This shows the intensity of boredom.

Many misspellings are just "creative or alternative "spellings and can be improperly interpretted. Alternative spelling is indicative of immense self-confidence but lousy self-esteem. These are the people who are not afraid to make fools of themselves purely to entertain collegues. Being dumb is actually very, very cool.

PRESCRIPTION & CURE

Errors in writing that involve sound-alike words (homophones) are known as "wrong word" errors. Such errors are more significant than simple spelling mistakes, since they involve word-level confusion.

Their is know nown kure.